Dick Van Dyke is 100

I turned on the TV today and Dick Van Dyke was singing and dancing.

… just as he’s always been.

Watch him go!

That’s because the channel was turned to Turner Classic Movies and my favorite childhood movie, Mary Poppins, was on.  A great film a bunch of humbugs gave him some blowback about for his exaggerated Cockney accent.  To which I say…

Exaggerated?  

ヌール — iamdinomartins: Dick Van Dyke as Bert in Mary...
Do not come from Bert!

He played a gravity-defying chimney sweep who had to jump into a chalk painting, dance with a group of animated penguin waiters, and make it look real.  Which he did.  This wasn’t Strindberg, for god’s sake!!!

But the seemingly timeless Mr. Van Dyke (Note: Ahhh, let’s call him Dick, cause Mr. Van Dyke is just too formal and referring to him as DVD sounds just too weird) would likely tell me to not even think about that.  When asked this week about the secret to his longevity, he emphasized his #1 is to not hold on to anger.

Is it too late for me to start?

Anger GIFs | Tenor
Let me let this last bit out

Oh, and also to spend each day singing and dancing, which he still does. In addition to working out three days a week, which he also still does.

Well, at least I do that. 

Usually.

Gym bunny Dick Van Dyke reveals his secrets to staying healthy at 99 years  old | Metro News
How does he do it??

Not to be Hallmark card-y about all this, but it’s hard not to about someone who made you feel great when you were a kid lives to be 100 years old. 

Still, it wasn’t only Mary Poppins.

I remember Dick recreating his Tony Award-winning performance in the movie version of Bye Bye Birdie, as a child of 10 or 11, watching it on TV.  He was so deft in the moment he stood up to his loud-mouthed, domineering mother, whose manner bore somewhat of a resemblance to my own.

Ahem.

A charmer

I can also remember in that film him singing an eternal tune of optimism, Put On A Happy Face, instantly making a brooding pe-teen like me smile. 

And it’s still one of my favorite songs from a musical to this day.

This is to say nothing of so many classic moments from his hit series, The Dick Van Dyke Show. I used to sneak out of my bedroom and secretly watch it standing behind my parents’ bedroom door, entranced by the show biz aspect of a clumsy, affable guy who was a TV writer and hung out with a group of snide, funny show biz friends.

To which I say… be careful what you wish for, kids.

You Move Me | Pen Name: Buddy Rogers
Also beware of ottomans

But it wasn’t only that.

I kept up with Dick through the years. 

One afternoon in the early seventies I was out in L.A. for the summer visiting my Dad and I wandered into a “head” shop in the Valley and saw a heavily bearded Dick, wearing a poncho, buying some record albums and rolling paper, looking like a somewhat death-warmed over vagrant, albeit a kind-seeming one.

New doc explores Dick Van Dyke's 'personal demons with alcohol' ahead of  icon's 100th birthday
Not his first role with dirt on his face

It couldn’t be him but I was sure it was HIM, I told myself.  And then, several years later in 1974, he played an alcoholic in an acclaimed TV movie, The Morning After, and suddenly it all made sense.  Because he spoke to anyone who would listen about the perils of addiction and the downward spiral his life had taken before he got sober.

I remember when his short-lived TV shows, Van Dyke and Company, won an unexpected Emmy as best comedy-variety series in the late 1970s.  And admired he came back to TV in the early nineties in order to work with his adult son, Barry Van Dyke, and other family members, on Diagnosis Murder, an hour-long show about a doctor who solves murders with his police detective offspring.

Even if it wasn’t for me. 

Diagnosis Murder | Rotten Tomatoes
Really can’t argue with that mustache

Because he had done other interesting work and his heart was in the right place. 

Among the former was a little seen movie directed by Stanley Kramer, The Runner Stumbles.  In it, he plays a rural priest opposite a young nun, played by Kathleen Quinlan, who moves into his rectory to run the church school.  The two become the victim of small town gossip, which turns out to be partly true because they are actually in love.

The Runner Stumbles Blu-ray
Thorn Birds who?

I recall marveling at his ability to disappear his persona and how scathing and unrelenting the criticism was to both him and his director.

It sticks in my mind because I was a critic for Variety at the time and had to review the movie AND interview the acclaimed director of such film classics of Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? and Judgement at Nuremberg, who couldn’t have been nicer or more forthcoming about that film and his entire career.

Was I swayed by that or by the fact that I had to publicly pass judgment in print on Dick in a dramatic role?

Absolutely No GIFs | Tenor
What she said!

I don’t think.

But as a more seasoned colleague assured me at the time, there were only two things that qualified any critic to pass judgement on a film.

An opinion and a place to print it.

At this point in my life, having written screenplays and movies of my own, and as a writing teacher,  I certainly realize the grade or opinion we give to anything doesn’t much matter in the long run.

This is pointless. | Confession Ecard
Shhhhh

I suspect Dick was aware of that years ago, if it ever bothered him in the first place.  That’s why he was able to keep working for so long and give those who appreciated his talents over the years so much joy.

My final peak moment with him came in 2017 in Santa Monica when a good friend took me to see Chita Rivera’s live solo show, Chita: A Legendary Celebration, at the Broad Theatre.  As she sang and danced her way through career highlights and reminiscences she referred back to the days when she played the female lead opposite him on Broadway in Bye Bye Birdie and her admitted favorite leading man – Dick Van Dyke.

Welcome to Chita Rivera.com
Did we say charming?

There was instant applause because, well, that’s the kind of reaction Dick gets, especially from people from my generation.  But that was nothing compared to the tumultuous applause to the question she then asked us – maybe we can get him to come up here?

At which point, 90 something Dick stood up and strode down the aisle to join her onstage. 

Screaming Crowd GIFs | Tenor
In this case, I was Larry David

It wasn’t a really big theatre and the screams didn’t stop until finally they had to quiet everyone down. 

Then they chatted about life and working on the show. 

And then he began singing that sweet love song he sang to her character Rose at the end of the show, Everything is Rosie.

WOW

They sang and sort of danced and I remember a combination of being entranced and periodically whispering to my friend, I’m dying.

Yeah, it was yet another moment.

Happy 100th Dick.

And…thanks 😎

Coldplay – “All My Love” (featuring Dick Van Dyke)

Hollywood from the Couch

I spent part of this weekend binge-watching the first three episodes of the new, gay-themed Canadian sports romance series, Heated Rivalry, on HBO despite being told the death of the movies was upon us.

Once again.

In any other era this would be sacrilegious for a movie lover.

Let Me Explain GIFs | Tenor
Allow me to explain

The funereal panic was related to the announcement that Netflix was buying Warner Bros. Discovery for the incomprehensible price (NOTE: To me, anyway.  I’m still smarting over $10 eggs) of $82.7 billion. A pending deal that, according to the N.Y. Times, could redefine Hollywood and the broader media landscape.

I have no doubt the above is true since Hollywood and media has been consistently redefining itself every couple of years since I first became professionally involved with it in the late 1970s.

Yes, I have all the career, financial and personal battle scars to prove it.  And one night, over cocktails, I’ll tell you all about if you so desire.  

all about eve gifs Page 2 | WiffleGif
Maybe some snowy night by the fire…

But more to the point, I have all the iterations of media and my own work to prove it.

Unopened boxes in my closet that contain VHS recordings of rare movies taped from network TV, cassette and eight tracks of movie soundtracks (Note: And more than a few vinyl records), a neatly tied bundle of laser discs (Note: A very short but very cool tech period, in my humble opinion), many drawers of CD movie themes/songs I bought or were sent to me from studios during awards seasons or for promotional purposes, and several walls full of DVDs my husband and I love having on hand even though three quarters of them are available on streaming services.

Add to that hundreds of original screenplays, pilots and treatments (Note: Several dozens of them my own) of very good work that was never made because they weren’t big enough, commercial enough, contemporary enough, relatable enough, young enough or just plain enough enough for the theatrical film market as it stood at the time.

Speaking for those projects that I DID NOT write, since no one can be objective about their own work, I promise you that determination is and was BULLSH-T since all of them could have been enough if given the chance.

Hi! I'm Anxiety. — World of Miley
Ya got that right

But, of course, it depends on what you mean by enough.  My definition is a film, or potential film or film element, that is entertaining or meaningful or satisfying to  group of people other than your friends and relatives. 

The theatrical deciders’ definition is a piece of material that will make them unlimited scads of money for the smallest amount of risk despite the tried and true adage, Nothing ventured, Nothing gained.

Scrooge Mcducking GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY
Main priority

Meaning, screenwriter William Goldman’s summation of the movie business and all its marketplace gatekeepers in his seminal 1983 memoir Adventures in the Screen Trade still, and perennially, applies:

NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING.

What especially no one knows anymore is what a movie is by 2025 and beyond standards and how it should or will be consumed. (Note:  Consumed?  What a horrible but applicable choice of words, as if we’re eating soylent green, though in a sense we are).

The chief complaint about Netflix and other streaming platforms is that their mere existence spells the death knell of the movie business, and the fact that it’s gobbling up one of what remains of a handful of big Hollywood studios ushers in the end of “movies.”

Well the view from my office would certainly change

After all, what incentive does Netflix have for people to watch a film outside of their homes, in a theatre (aka, the definition of a “real” movie)?

About as much as David Zaslav, a former cable/streaming exec who was put in charge of theatrical when he was made CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery in 2022 cares about it. 

Skeletor From Masters Of The Universe Trivia
His company portrait

Though probably more, since one of Zaslav’s first acts when put in charge was a cost-cutting measure that would’ve ended the one cable channel most beloved by movie lovers, TCM (Turner Classic Movies), as we know it, until filmmakers Paul Thomas Anderson and Martin Scorsese and others stepped in to exert a little… ahem… pressure.

Trending GIF oscars academy awards martin scorsese oscars 2020
Bless you, Marty

This while Netflix stepped up and made movies and deals with some of the top directors in the movie business, including Martin Scorsese (The Irishman), Guillermo del Toro (Frankenstein), Rian Johnson (Knives Out II and III) and Greta Gerwig (the upcoming Chronicles of Narnia) and her husband Noah Baumbach (the just-released George Clooney starrer, Jay Kelly). 

All of these films have had or will have theatrical runs of various lengths and all the work of these and most other filmmakers will likely continue to do so.

Are they or will they be as long as they used to be?  Well, um, no.

Debating GIFs | Tenor
I mean… I think I could be OK with that

But to all of the movie consumers out there – nerds, intellectuals, horror fanatics, foreign film fans, the super-hero obsessed or rom-com fanatics – how many times have you uttered these four words in the last number of years:

Is it streaming yet?

a man in a yellow jacket is waving his hand
Guilty!

It is worth noting the film most likely to win this year’s best picture Oscar and, for my money, the best film of 2025, Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another, was a Warner Bros. release that played a mere eight weeks before being available to rent or buy on streamers. 

This is not very long at all by traditional standards. And will undoubtedly vary depending on how much demand there is to see a film and how much money can be made on them.

One Gif After Another : r/paulthomasanderson
… and there he goes

I used to marvel when my parents recounted to me there was a time that they huddled around the RADIO to listen to original serialized storytelling.  The same way I did to my husband a few years ago when I suddenly realized true crime podcasts were becoming the new commercial “thing,” making something very recognizably radio popular again.

Do I long for the old days of movies?

Not so much.

23 Classic Hollywood GIFs That Are Better Than A Time Machine
I’m with Margo

What I long for instead are the days of more good and great movies and less pure commercial garbage for the mythical lowest common denominator, non-thinking international, four quadrant audience.

And on that subject, I’d put more faith in Netflix than in the guy who treated Dr. Pimple Popper and 90 Day Fiancé with the same reverence as a Scorsese or Nolan film when he first listed them on HBO Max.

35 Funniest Someecards Ever | Bored Panda
Nuff said

Not that there is anything wrong with any film or TV show of any kind. Including the steamy Heated Rivalry, which I have every intention of watching in between this year’s Oscar movies – at the theatre and at home.

On my couch. 

Doom scrolling.

The Beach Boys – “In My Room”